"You may NOW kiss the bride!"
What an odd statement to throw into a wedding ceremony! Why give a couple the permission to kiss on their wedding day, when they've most likely already done this a thousand times?
This traditional line seems strange to most modern couples. We live in a world where intimate kisses have lost their sacred essence. In some relationships a kiss is carelessly given away only hours after having a first date, others it is treated as no more than a formality of showing romantic interest. No wonder we've lost an understanding of saving such intimate ways of showing love until God's perfectly timed moments.
The history of this seemingly strange tradition of "NOW kissing the bride" comes from the forgotten paradigm and the understanding of physical touch, was one that reserved all intimate expressions of affection for the wedding day and beyond. So when the groom was "allowed" to kiss his bride, it actually meant that the time had come for him to kiss her FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.
God teaches us to entrust things of value in our life only to those who have first proven that they are worthy of such a trust. And of all these things of great value in our life, one of the most precious is our body. It's the equivalent of the holy of holes in God's temple in Jerusalem. It's the set apart place of our beings, and beyond the presence of God, it is reserved for only one person to ever access.
God has already defined who we can allow to enter this sacred place of our being. It's one who has proven that they will value it and protect its sacredness as their most prized possession-one willing to give up everything in covenant to show they truly mean it. That one person is your spouse.
Now I'm not saying that saving kisses for your wedding day is a requirement to lasting love, but I am in favor of allowing God to be the orchestrator of the progression of sacred touches in your relationships. A sensual kiss, when orchestrated by God Himself, is a statement of covenant intent. It should hold deep meaning and significance and not simply be a catalyst for sensual things.
God intends a wedding day to be the Christmas morning of a couple's romance. It's the day the sacred gifts are given as a means of celebrating the newly born covenant bond. A couple can experience a certain dimension of intimacy prior to their wedding day, but God intends intimacy to blossom into a burst of springtime color on and beyond the wedding day.
A kiss is a physical representation of what marriage is and what a wedding day opens up for a lifetime to follow. That's why a wedding day is such an important training ground. If a couple learns to guard and preserve the sacred elements of their physical relationship prior to marriage, they already have a foundation upon which to cuild for success after they exchange vows and in the years to come.
"The longer your 'no big deal' list is before marriage, the shorter your 'very special' list will be after marriage” (quote from Joshua Harris).
You're probably why I'm writing about this....well, I've been questioned and teased about my saving my first kiss with any man for my wedding when the pastor says to my groom "you may NOW kiss your bride!" Both before I ever met Andy and even now that I'm engaged to Andy. Some have said "it's no big deal" some have said I "can't possibly love him because you've never kissed each other (or kissed anyone else)" when asked about this topic. Quite the opposite....it's because I love him that much that I saved my first kiss for him before I ever met him and am refraining from kissing him until our wedding day! Do I care what others think? No, but I thought I would take this opportunity to somehow attempt to put into words why I have done this! This still does not fully explain, but this is the short version with some explainations of it taken from Eric & Leslie Ludy and Joshua Harris.
~Whitney~
